In the new romantic comedy (500) Days of Summer, Joseph Gordon Levitt's character finds himself in a place you want to be in a relationship. You know, when that new person you've been seeing touches your heart in a way where those three words'I love you'suddenly seep into your consciousness. The only question is, 'does he or she feel the same way?' And do you risk losing what you've got by invoking those three small words into your relationship?
Paul A. Falzone, CEO of The Right One and Together Dating'one of the world's largest brick-and-mortar dating services with more than 60 offices nationwide'has paired thousands of clients during more than 35 years in business. He also has a few thoughts on when you should and should not say 'I love you.'
'Well, on your way to the restaurant on your first date might be too soon and the night you celebrate your one-year anniversary is probably a bit late,' said Falzone. 'Seriously, the key really is not when you say it, but that you're really sure you feel it. Because let's face it, saying those three words will change your current relationship one way or the other. So it's important to have your thoughts together rather than just blurting it out.'
Falzone recommends:
' Writing out a list of why you love the person you're seeing. Include the reasons why, not just that you do.
' Ask yourself honestly if this is a relationship you want to take to that next level. Allow yourself to daydream a little bit about where you think it could go.
' Write your boy/girlfriend a love letter stating your feeling for them. Include the three words in their just to see how it feels. You don't have to send it.
' Practice saying it in the mirror. It may sound silly, but when the time comes you'll want to look your beloved in the eye and deliver your 'I love you' with confidence.
' Hope for the best, but plan for the worst: no response or 'I don't love you'. Sure, you want to think positive, but it is possible that the other person may not feel the same. Or that they might not be in the same place right now.
Adds Falzone, 'The most important thing is you want the moment you tell somebody you love them to be special. So, plan a special dinner, take them to the site of where you met, buy a bottle of champagne, you name it. If he or she reciprocates, you'll want to celebrate. '
And what if he or she doesn't reciprocate?
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